Monday, January 01, 2007

Reflecting on this year...

Today I realized that there are so many others in the world that deserve to whine about their condition so much more than I do. I need to remember that I am very lucky to be alive, and I have use of ALL my limbs, (although limited in that damn leg) and that my mind is not affected...at least, not as much as it should have been considering how hard I hit my melon. LOL I still have numbness in the left side of my face, and even the tip of my tongue is numb...must have damaged my hypoglossal nerve, or the eighth cranial nerve...? I think that's how I remember it from A & P...
So anyway, Christmas was bittersweet again this year, as I was sad for being unable to take the kids sledding or ice skating for yet another snowy season (but we still don't have snow that sticks long enough to sled in for more than 4 hours, so weird for Wisconsin), and I'm still reminded by the scars on my face and body, and the pain in my hands, leg and back that I hope will someday stop making me think of how much my body has been through. But, the sweet part of Christmas is even more sweet than it ever was, because I have a greater appreciation for all of the things I took for granted before--having family together, and everyone healthy. Watching my kids open their presents, and remembering how close I was to not being here to do that with them last year. And I am doing so much better than I was a year ago...my spirit has healed tremendously, and my body has healed too. I still have shadows of pain in my hands and my left shoulder, and the hip hurts constantly due to the new fractures there thanks to avascular necrosis. That just sounds nasty, doesn't it? But overall I am doing so well...and I know I just need to give it more time and I'll feel better and better.
I am so thankful for the stronger, better person I have become, and the determination I thought I probably had but never had to use in such circumstances...and I have changed in so many ways. I have total faith in myself, and my faith in others has grown as well. I know I can overcome anything this life has to offer, and I know that I have a huge support system to help me if ever I need it again.
I graduated with scholastic honors from the practical nursing program, and was chosen as Outstanding Practical Nursing Student of 2006...only 1 semester later than I had planned, so the accident really didn't set me back that far academically. Now, I study for boards and I'm taking 2 RN prep classes starting Jan 15, and hopefully I'll be able to land a part-time LPN job by spring so I can make some money while I'm finishing my degree...but who am I kidding?? I won't really be finished until I have my master's, and also certified in midwifery, but I am waiting until my kids are older to tackle those hurdles...they deserve to have their mommy around more while they need me most, and my career is not important enough to me to sacrifice these important years with my babies...one of whom is taller than me at 13 years old!! Who said they could grow up so fast??
So we're looking forward to a new year, a better year, a year in which we are finally able to have some relief financially because I just have a feeling things are going to work out that way...my dream job is waiting, I just have to keep my eyes peeled. And the kids are all so amazing, they are so resilient and beautiful, and I adore them. Carl and I are so lucky to have the privilege of watching our babies grow up, for the privilege of teaching them, and helping to shape them into the amazing little people that they are.
Thank you, Lord, for having faith in me to raise so many babies and to do well by my children, and blessing us all with your love, strength and courage to do our best in your name, always. Thanks for our wonderful friends and family, whom we feel so blessed to have in our lives, and we are always looking for opportunities to be able to return the grace that has been shown to us in our time of need. :)))))) I'm full of holiday spirit and warm fuzzies today...