I padded sleepily to my daughters' bedroom, woke them for school, and as they woke and giggled their usual sleepy morning giggles and got ready for the day, I wandered to the window to see the sunrise, and asked, "Bri, will I see an angel in the clouds today, or a 4-leaf clover, (remember Brian's 4-leaf clover tattoo) a little sign that you are thinking of us, as we are thinking of you?" I stood at the window and searched the sky for a few minutes, sending love to my brother, to my sisters and family, all of us who miss Brian so much...and I didn't see an angel cloud, or a duck, a fish, clover, or bunny or any other funny shapes in the sky...but as I turned to walk away from the window, I glanced down at the white snow, and what do you suppose I saw there? A perfect, beautiful little snow angel, right below my window, all by itself. Away from the footprints and sled trails and snowmen the kids have made in the yard...it was all alone, this sweet little snow angel, made by one of my brother's beautiful angel daughters. I know it was Ava or Elli because any of the other kids would have made taller snow angels than this little bitty one. Thanks, Bri...I knew I'd hear from you today. We love you so much, and continue to be amazed at the many ways you find to reach us from Heaven.
Thanks to my sweet brother, for all of the four-leaf clovers we found this year, I have to count how many- 10 on our walk in Irvine Park, all in one place! Just up the road from your favorite fishing spot...3 that Zakk found while he was at Fort McCoy, 3 that Jess got from her little neighbor boy, 1 that Mom found when she asked Bri when she would find hers, and he said, "When you let yourself see it, Mom." And she did! A few years before, Dad found 4 outside his door on Mother's Day, for me and Mom, Jess and Kristi...and he's found more 4-leaf and even a 5-leaf (!) since then! Have you ever heard of anyone finding so many four-leaf clovers, especially in one family??? We have them pressed in books, held up in picture frames, kept in jewelry and tattooed on our skin...four-leaf clovers have become our family's symbol of hope, love, peace and joy.
The family went out to dinner tonight, to celebrate the life of my brother, and what did his sweet daughter find? On her piece of cake, a perfect little 4-leaf clover, made in chocolate frosting. My kids and the rest of my nieces and nephews rushed to the buffet, to have a piece of cake with the clover on it too, but Ava's was the only one! There's your sign...thanks, brother, daddy, son, husband, uncle, best friend...such an amazing person, in physical life and beyond. We hear the songs on the radio, we take note of the coincidences that you orchestrate, all the time. Thanks so much for loving us, for teaching us even in your passing. We are blessed. I am convinced my brother is in a beautiful place, free of pain and worry and despair, he is so full of joy and love and pure positive energy, it knows no boundaries now. That gives me such peace.
