With 2012 approaching and 2011 coming to a close, I think back on the past year and all of the wonderful memories I've made with my loving family...I have so much to be thankful for. I've always thought that my appreciation for life and all of the people in it have helped me keep my head on straight, although I've made my share of mistakes...I know in my younger days and even some of my older ones, I've made some wrong turns, taken some steep climbs and fallen low in the valleys too...but I always come back up again, always find an even keel, and I know that a big part of that is due to the loving support of my family and friends. Life is about choices, and the path that we choose sometimes heads us in directions we never expected to go, but need to experience nonetheless.
Every Christmas since my accident, I'm reminded of the first Christmas after...December 2005...when my co-workers played Santa Claus to our family, making our holiday so beautiful. Sweet and dear friends who cleaned my house for me when I couldn't, coworkers of Mom's, strangers we had never met, so many people reached out to us that year, helping with childcare, lending a shoulder or an ear, and even helping lil old busted-up me in and out of bed while I healed. I still can't find words strong enough to express my gratitude to everyone during such a tough time; I have tried again and again, but the only way I've found that feels even remotely close to the amount of gratitude I feel is to give back to people in my community that have fallen on hard times too. Paying it forward just fills me up inside. It's also a big part of my emotional/spiritual healing, which I thought was all happening along with the physical, but the mind is an amazing thing...while I was concentrating on the physical healing, my mind blocked out a lot of the emotional stuff, at least until I was at a point where I could take that on as well. The greatest part of that is done but I still have my moments. I'm grateful for a partner who is loving and patient with that part of me. Thanks hun...also equally grateful for my loving mom, dad and sisters, who listen when I need to cry and love me no matter what. You are the best family a woman could ask for. And my kids, who show me everyday all that I have to be thankful for and joyful about, they are my every breath. I am here only because of them, I know that, beyond any doubt.
Before our family had experienced the tougher times, I was fiercely independent, always the first to lend a hand to others but always the last to ask for help. I didn't have a lot of faith in people outside of my own family, life up until that point had shown me that it's just best to rely only on yourself, it just saved me from constant disappointment that way. The outpouring of kindness that our family experienced was completely unexpected and overwhelming. Thank you to all of my family and friends for reminding me that standing alone doesn't necessarily make you stronger; it just makes sure that you stand alone when you really could use someone to lean on. I couldn't have stood alone that year, and I'm so glad I didn't have to. Thank you to everyone who took the time to be there for all of us that year.
I love you all so much, and I am so grateful for you all, everyday. We may not talk often enough or even travel in the same circles anymore, but believe me, I have not forgotten all of the wonderful things you all did for me, and I never will. You are all in my daily prayers, and you will continue to be, because you deserve to be lifted up and cherished always. Not a day goes by when I don't remember how blessed I am, and I don't intend to forget.
I know this might be hard to believe, but I don't think I'd be nearly the person I am now if I hadn't gone through that accident. I wouldn't wish that kind of thing on anyone, even myself, but I can see the good that has come of it, and the goodness I've found in myself and other people. I learned that I am much stronger than I ever imagined was humanly possible...but that it's ok to be weak sometimes too. Someone very smart once said, "It's when we feel we are at our weakest that we learn how truly strong we can be." I learned that the goodness and kindness of strangers is much greater than I ever could have known if I hadn't crashed that day. I have learned a new appreciation and respect for everyone around me, from my own family to the gas station attendant down the road. Every life is of the utmost value and importance. I'm so thankful that mine was spared...because I have a good life, and it's only getting better!!
Love, Light, and Best Wishes to EVERYONE for 2012!! (and, now I need to get off the computer because my back can't handle this dang chair today...LOL)
