Dear Brian,
Today, your baby girls are six years old! I cannot believe how they have grown. Six years ago, I stayed overnight at Kristi's, got up at 6am with her and a bunch of beautiful people who love us, and we went to the hospital to finally meet those precious girls that Kristi miraculously carried to term. She has greater strength than she knows! I remember that morning, Kristi said, "These babies were going to be born today, whether the doctor decided or not!" She knew it was time.
As I sit here looking through pictures of your beautiful twin girls, I imagine how you would be with them. In my mind, I see you hold them in your arms, bounce them in your lap, cuddle and goof with them and love them...just like Corey does now. He has since they were tiny, and Aidyn too. He is so good to them...I know you know that, because you wouldn't have anyone less than wonderful for your kids, or as a husband for Kristi. I see how you and God work through him and I am amazed.
And don't worry- I know you hold them in their dreams, I know you held them before they were born, when they were still in Heaven with you. I know you watch over them and their big brother, all of us, and I am so thankful for that. I know I've been dreaming about you, and I need to try harder to remember what you tell me in my dreams, because I have a feeling it's something you want me to give the girls for their birthdays. Help me remember!!
I will never forget the day those girls were born. I am a very lucky auntie, to have been present at the births of each of my nieces and nephews. Thank you for that. I remember the first time I held them, Your spirit is so strong in each of these beautiful babies...it is overwhelming. I remember that it took months before I could look into those tiny, perfect faces without having to swallow the huge lump in my throat. But concentrating on Aidyn and these two little miracles, they took some of the ache out of our hearts when we were missing you so bad. Each year that goes by, I remember the year before, and see how far we've all come. The hurt and the empty space are filled now with happy memories of your children as they grow, all of us with your blood in our veins and all of those who've come into our lives because of you, we are so grateful. You have taught us all so much about love, family, and never giving up. I bet you are surprised at how far we've come! (so are we!) Somehow, I know and trust that this all makes sense. I've let go of the need to know why, I've let go of the feeling of lacking (for the most part) the place in my heart that was always filled by my brother, is STILL filled by you, you are with us every day. We just see you differently now...like I said, it takes our earthly eyes a long time to adjust, but we're coming around.
Happy Birthday, Elliana and Ava!!! You are amazing, and your dad is so proud of you! We ALL are!
How blessed could we be as you enter this world
Babies A and B, Doctor said, two perfect little girls
As you opened your eyes and stared into mine
I saw Heaven, your Daddy, everywhere the signs
The birth room attendant wore a tag with Daddy's name
He might have been Brian but his face wasn't the same
Mommy and I knew it was Daddy's way to let us know
He wouldn't miss this for anything, we knew he'd show!
I remember the song on the radio as we cried
The Riddle, "There's a Reason for the World; You and I"
It was playing so softly, some words were unclear
Your first lullaby from Daddy, who couldn't be here.
You saw him long before you learned he was gone
As you played in your cribs, and sang daddy songs
"Daddy" was your first word! How could that be?
Because you'd already known him, his angel, you see.
His love surrounds you, and it always will
He loved you in Heaven, and he loves you still.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BtqElO1OX4
