Uncle Ron, age 19 or 20 in Naval Uniform
Today, I'm thinking about all of my uncles who served in the military. I don't know all of them well enough to have had them share their stories with me, but I have been lucky enough to have one uncle share some of his story. I'm thinking about my mother's eldest brother, who served in the Navy during the Vietnam war. When I was a kid, I think I knew he had served, but I never really thought about it much, since I was, after all, just a kid, more concerned with the silly things that kids do, like laughing, playing, lollygagging...
When I was about 21, I asked my uncle, "What was it like in Vietnam?" The rest of my family got very quiet. Uncle Ron did not often talk about what happened there, what he saw or experienced, and I guess no one really asked him about it. But that day, he decided to share with us a bit of what he had lived. I think it was an hour or more, Uncle Ron told us about seeing new officers get killed within days of being "in country" because they wouldn't listen to the ones who had been there longer. About how walking to the latrine was a life-or-death trek sometimes. About how lying in your cot at night, listening to not-so-distant bombs drop and missing home feels like a cold iron hook in your guts. About how the bonds with your brothers of war are like no other. We all listened intently, just letting him talk, taking in all of the stories, and the pictures I formed in my mind, as vivid as they were, I knew they were nothing compared to the things my uncle had seen with his own eyes. At the same age of my two oldest sons, now 19 and 20, Uncle Ron had already been to war, had seen death, had experienced things I hope my sons never do. Today, that hits home very hard.
I remember thinking then, and I often think it now, how spoiled we are as a country. We know so little of war-ravaged streets, of our schools being bombed and our paths to and from work being daily war zones. So many countries of this world see war as one of the only constants in life, war and death. I won't write much about war, because I know nearly nothing about it. About what strength must lie inside a person to be able to carry out the tasks necessary for survival and success in a war situation. About how returning home doesn't mean the war has been left behind. I think every soldier brings a piece of that war home with them in their hearts. I have seen it in veterans' eyes, and I wish that I could erase or ease that pain for them. But then, they carry it proudly, with a strength that is not known to civilians, because it has not been ingrained in us, it has not been lived by us, but it has been lived by someone we all know. And for that, I hug my Uncle Ron a little tighter each time I see him, a little squeeze to say "Thank You." It's all I can do. I can't unsee the horrid sights, sounds and smells of a place I've never been. I can't imagine what it's like to carry that badge.
Something else I never knew, but I found out on my own, was that my Uncle Ron had earned some medals for his Naval service. I found one while cleaning out a cabinet in my grandparents' house, a star with green ribbon, in a blue velvet box. He didn't talk about these medals, he never told me or anyone else how he got them, and I still don't know. I just know that I love my Uncle Ron, and I am so very thankful for him, his service, and the service of all military personnel. I am thankful for the sights, sounds, and experiences they endure to protect our freedom. Thankful for the pain they carry, sometimes for decades, for a lifetime, after serving our country. And all I can do is say thank you? The words seem so paltry, so pale and feeble when used to honor such sacrifice. They are only words. But these are my words, and my words are the only way I have right now to show these amazing people, people like my uncle, my gratitude.
So, THANK YOU, Uncle Ron, and all of your brothers and sisters who serve, have served, and will serve our beautiful country. And if nothing else, I feel it is our duty as civilians to do everything we can, every day, to keep this country beautiful, to work together to right the wrongs within our own borders, and to make our world deserving of the freedoms we enjoy because of these amazing soldiers. And I will do just that. I will continue to teach my kids to do just that, and I will tell myself that it has to be enough. But I know it is never enough. I know it's idealistic, and I fear that within my lifetime there will be more division and less unity in our country, but I will never give up hope, and I will never stop doing my part, because people like my uncle never gave up, never stopped protecting us. For that, I am forever grateful. I love you!
Uncle Ron, 2013, with his decorated Naval Uniform.
