Today

I am so tired today! I cleaned the whole house yesterday...did laundry, swept my floors and mopped, cleaned one of the bathrooms and wiped down the kitchen counters. Man, did that feel good...but today, I am exhausted. It's strange--I used to run from 4am to 11pm with work, kids, and school, but now I get tired from cleaning house and getting the kids off to school and daycare each morning. Whew. Well, at least I am able to get around a little better and do things around here that need doing, even if it does take me all day. Cleaning and organizing is like therapy for me...when there is turmoil on the inside, it makes me feel so much better to make my surroundings look nice. I guess turmoil isn't the word I'd use for how I feel...but not being in control of my circumstances is sometimes bewildering. It's scary to think about the possibility of not recovering fully, or having problems down the road because of my injuries. I know that I'll just deal with those things as they come, and that God will bring me through anything I come up against, so I try not to worry...but sometimes I do...I'm human. I shouldn't be vain and be upset about how my looks have changed, I know that's not right...I should be thankful that I'm still here...and I am! And in a way, the imperfections and scars on my face have made me realize something. I have always been so self conscious about my looks, and just overcritical of myself all the time. I wondered, what would I do if I was really ugly? How would I get through the days if my face was disfigured or less attractive? Now I know. Beauty is not about physical appearance, it's about the beauty within, and that's another lesson I've learned through all of this. When I would go into stores or the doctor's office, I could feel people stare at me, and I'm sure they wonder what happened...and at first it really bothered me...and then I got so I'd just tell them, "I was injured in a car accident by a drunk driver." And the scars on my face have become my conversation starter, a way for me to be able to warn everyone I can about the devastation of drunk driving. Now, the scars are so faded and the swelling is gone, so the only badge left is my left arm splint and a limp. lol Now I tell people Carl beat me up. LMAO